Early/Mid Year Brain Bits: Vulnerability, Drive, Peace, and Privilidge
Here are some brains bits that I wrote earlier in the year that I just got to putting online. Hoping to be more consistent on a monthly basis with these moving forward.
Testing willingness towards vulnerability
I’ve recently spent a fair amount of time wondering the best way to identify people with a certain degree of emotional intelligence. People whom you can easily slip into introspective conversation with. I recently explored this question with a close friend who very much has this trait, and she asked me back… “what made you identify me as one of those people”? Which I’ve now identified as
- A certain willingness and capacity to hold eye contact
- The ability to ask fantastic questions… or tease out introspection
The first shows a degree of comfort around vulnerability. Eye contact that is soft & attentive can hint to someone’s emotional capacity. The second entails that this individual has done sufficient self-exploration to guide, or encourage, others into introspective and revealing conversations.
Inspiration vs. Outcome based drive
A very interesting idea “the tipping point” in drive came up in one of my conversations last week. It’s when your drive or incentive to engage in a specific task tips from being fuelled mostly by inspiration to being mostly fuelled by outcomes. This phenomenon is synonymous with the ego overly vying for attention.
In most pursuits, especially creative ones, it’s generally healthier to be driven mostly by inspiration/curiosity rather than outcomes. When you are driven by outcomes, you are being driven by the expectation of achieving something particular. The tricky thing is that for many pursuits, the best course of action, or the most fruitful path, is often obscured from view when you're just beggining. Being driven by a specific outcome narrows your window of possibility & exploration. Whereas, drive originating from inspiration and curiosity is rooted simply in the act of exploring, rather than arriving at a destination.
Commitment to the process, moreso than the potential outcome, is where the full potential of creativity bares fruit - My inner Rick Rubin
Peace in the finite
I’ve always wanted to do everything all at once. To get better at 4 different sports simultaneously. To start a bunch of projects when in the middle of a school semester. To attempt writing a stupid amount of articles all at the same time, which doesn’t work when they all require research. I’ve always had this battle between my infinite curiosity and my finite time. Which is kind of the whole premise of the book 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman which I should probably re-read.
I’m currently trying to learn how to batch specific projects and pursuits according to a chronology of importance. To allow myself to prioritize specific pursuits, and consciously make the decision to revisit other projects or hobbies in the future. To find joy and peace in that decision, or what Oliver Burkeman calls JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out). We can either feel miserable towards all the things we inevitably miss out on, or we can be at peace with it. I choose being at peace… at least that's what I tell myself… and it’s a continual decision I have to wrestle myself into… writing helps.
Reframing the guilt of privilege
I’m quite a privileged individual. I’m a white male, who grew up in the US & Canada, in a quite emotionally & financially stable household. In addition to this I have parents who, between the two of them, are great role-models for healthy lifestyles, athleticism, academics, and financial literacy. That’s a pretty fortunate foundation. I’ve also been lucky enough to go through the IB program in high-school, and to have developed the discipline necessary to get through 4 years of a physics degree. I’ve loved, and “sipped from the cup of sorrow” (as Alain de Botton would say) in heartbreak. I’ve been lucky enough to get a glimpse into what it might mean to be a good human: a good citizen, acquaintance, friend, child, sibling, lover, and friend to myself.
I believe that every bit of privilege endowed upon you deserves in exchange some degree of noble philanthropy. As a farely privileged 21 year old student, I don’t have much financial philanthropy I can engage in. But, I believe philanthropy can go beyond just the sharing of money. It can be the sharing of time, calm/presence, emotional attunement, knowledge, skill… etc. So, ask yourself:
In what ways am I privileged?
How can I share my privilege? Can I be, do, or share something with someone or a group of people?
Write out your response to these questions. Then, walk through how you might share some of the privilege that chance has endowed upon you.